Finding True Love ~ Is it a Myth or a Reality? How do we know if we have found our true love or if he or she will let us down? Are You Actually in Love? Or Should You Move On?
“When romantic love is fresh, it is like a sneak peek into heaven, a taste of an enlightened state of consciousness, a brief visit to love without boundaries. The ecstasy we experience at the beginning of a relationship is really the truth of what lies between any two souls.” Kathy Freston in her book, The One – Finding Soul Mate Love and Making it Last
Do you get strange feelings in your tummy when a certain person comes near? Does it feel like butterflies are flitting around inside and just won’t settle down?
Those sensations might indicate that love has come to you – or they might not. Maybe they indicate only a passing infatuation or gas. How can you determine whether to take these feeling seriously or to just enjoy them for a fleeting moment or two?
After all, you want to be pretty certain that whatever the feelings are, they will be strong enough to carry you and your loved one through both good and difficult times. If the two of you believe that you’ve found true love, then you’ll probably want to spend more time together. Perhaps you’ll decide to move in together or even get married.
Spending more and more time together creates fertile ground for you to get on each other’s nerves. Before you pass into this phase of being together non-stop, you most likely experience a period of bliss filled with sweetness and kindness.
If you move in together or get married, realism will set in. The feelings for each other need to be strong enough to withstand a few storms. You probably have looked around at all the divorces in the world – some probably with friends of yours that you thought had solid relationships.
You realize that the vast majority of those couples thought that their love would see them through good and bad times. But it didn’t happen that way.
According to Time Magazine, the divorce rate has gone down a bit, but most marriages have only around a 50% chance of lasting. And you can bet that everyone in the 50% felt that their marriage was made in heaven and would last through every storm.
But that statistic shows that many people have stars in their eyes and get married without understanding how much work is involved in keeping love alive and getting a marriage to work.
So let’s try to describe how you can determine whether your love will last through thick and thin.
You Begin to Accept Things that You Used to Hate
When you first feel infatuation for someone, you probably go out of your way to do things that your loved one enjoys even though you don’t. This is normal and shouldn’t be considered a sign of true love because eventually, you may find it too tedious to keep up the pretense.
If, on the other hand, you revel in the joy your participation brings to your loved one instead of gritting your teeth through the whole process, you might have one sign that your love will last.
You Learn to Value Your Loved One
When the delight you get from seeing your loved one happy is more important to you than the boredom or distaste you feel when you participate in an activity just to please your loved one, you might have the beginning of real love.
At the beginning of a relationship, this is generally pretty easy. Wait until you’ve been together for a while, and then examine whether you still feel that delight. True love finds ways to make the partner feel valued and happy, and doing that is more important than the person’s own feelings.
You Accept the Person Just as He or She Is
A major sign that love is not true is when you continually try to change the other person. If your love is true, you allow the other person to be and act in accordance with his or her beliefs, habits, etc – even when you profoundly disagree with those ideas.
You Understand and Respect the Person
This concept is strongly connected to the previous one. In a love relationship, each person needs to have the free will to choose what they believe is right or wrong. You respect his or her beliefs even when you believe something totally different. And you are confident that your loved one respects you enough to allow the same rights to you.
You Are True to Each Other
Your feelings of true love guarantee that you will be true to your loved one, no matter what. You can consider all kinds of things that may come your way, and you know that you would be willing to sacrifice yourself in order to save your partner.
You recognize the flaws in your loved one, and you might talk to your partner in private, but would never embarrass him or her in a public setting. This is another reflection of the respect you have for him or her.
Love is Confusing
Love can be very confusing. Many people mistake infatuation or physical attraction for love. Doing that can be very dangerous and lead to divorce. Analyzing your feelings can seem to go against the very idea of love, but you can have a much better chance of a lasting love if you look at your ‘loving’ relationship objectively.